i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
