Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
