So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
