Umm I'm too high to move.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
