i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
