office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
