thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
