I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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