I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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