ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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