once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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