shes about as inviting as chlamydia
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
