your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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