i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My vagina is officially offended.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
