sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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