Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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