the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
