I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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