discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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