My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize