i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
