My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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