Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
