Apparently you make a good broom.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
