There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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