so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
