a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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