My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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