We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize