Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
