I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
