That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
