Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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