I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
