Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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