I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
