i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
