I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
