But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
