well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
