They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
