I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
