you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
