Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
