White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
