hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize