i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
