I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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