we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
