So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
