My balls are so social today.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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