you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
