Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
