So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
