I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
