I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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