JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
