and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
