im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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