I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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