dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
