now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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