People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
