i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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