I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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