my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
