I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
